Why Do People Get Lost in Transition?
Updated: Nov 19, 2018
Is making a change keeping you stuck?
The funny thing about transition is that we are always in transition, though were not always aware that it’s happening. We grow, we change and life changes around us. However most of life’s little changes don’t feel traumatic or challenging, they just feel like everyday life. Until the day that something significant changes…
When life makes a sudden left turn and we had on our turn signal to go right, we often find ourselves at a dead stop in the middle of the intersection! We can become unsure of which direction to go now, even unsure of which direction we were heading in the first place. Often life becomes segmented into parts, before the left turn and after. So why don’t we just get back on the road and get going?
Fear and loss are the two big themes that emerge during a life altering transition. Fear of the unknown steps to the forefront for many people. What will life look like from here on? What can be expected? What if I make the wrong decision moving forward? How can I be sure things won’t continue to change for the worse?
Questioning ones identity can become another big roadblock. What if this change means I’m not who I was before? What if I’m no longer relevant? What if I’m not enough? Do I still have a place in my group of friends, my peers, or even my family? Who am I if I’m no longer that?
Loss of a job, family member, marriage, home or even a friendship can leave a gap in so many places in our lives. A space we aren’t sure how to fill, emotionally, mentally or physically. This space can be very disorienting, creating a sense of being off balance and even confused.
Surprisingly, meaning can be the biggest stop sign when we’re in life’s most difficult transitions. We try to find answers to “Why” and often end up attaching judgment, guilt and blame to ourselves and others. We become afraid that if we move on it means that we didn’t care about what we lost. We don’t want to seem as though we have forgotten
something that was meaningful and believe we need to continue to suffer to prove that we still care. Looking for the why can leave us wandering around in past more than we are living in the present.
Changing why into how is the solution. Beginning to ask the question How becomes the forward movement that people in transition crave. It’s the simple shift in perspective that can move Stress into Success. We imagine that to create change we need to make big moves, take big steps. But in truth it’s the smallest first step that gets us on the road to living our best lives once again. So how….
Getting the help of a professional can be the very best first step. Assistance in getting the body and breath moving can greatly help getting the mind and emotions moving. Help finding a new and improved self and letting go of the old can make a world of difference in getting unstuck. It’s like having a traffic light giving you the green light to move through the intersection and on your way. Finding the right help and the right tools for you could very well be the perfect first move.
Find out more with Stress to Success at https://www.wellbeingstrategies.org/stress-to-success
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